


Weasley Letters

by SmokeysWife



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Humor, Letters, Owl Post (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 07:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19988206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokeysWife/pseuds/SmokeysWife
Summary: A series of letters (owl texts?) between the Weasley family, mostly post war, mostly focused around Geomione because I love that pairing.





	Weasley Letters

**Author's Note:**

> So this was an experiment that has been sat in my fanfic folder for ages. I've no idea if it will work out, but if you envisage owl post being used instead of texting you'll probably get the gist. As I enjoyed writing it (and still enjoy reading it) I thought I might as well share it.
> 
> As usual, characters and the wizarding world of Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling. I'm just playing in her sandpit.

**13 th October 1994:**

I think Snape may be onto us, Fred. He keeps looking at me like he knows something.

G

Relax, Georgie. Anybody could have taken the lacewing flies from his cabinet. He’s bound to blame Harry.

F.

You’re sure this will work?

G

When have I ever steered you wrong, brother mine?

F.

**14 th October 1994:**

Well that was a fiasco!

G

A minor hiccup in the smooth flow of life, Georgie. I look fifty already – we’ll be sixteen again in no time!

F.

I knew it was a bad idea as soon as Granger looked so confident… You get your howler from mum yet?

G

**26 th December 1994**

If you can stop playing tonsil hockey with Angelina for five minutes, we need to talk to Bagman. The lying git just sent me another letter

G

Chance would be a fine thing, Georgie. All I’ve had is Ron ranting about hulking Hungarian seekers for the past 5 hours.

F.

So, he’s finally decided he’s got a thing for Granger?

G

George,

I HAVE NOT got a thing for Hermione. I just think she shouldn’t be fraternising with the enemy. And I’ll thank you to stop discussing my personal life.

Ron

Think you touched a nerve there, Georgie.

F.

**20 th August 1995**

Forge,

Do you two know why Ron is currently vomiting rainbows? Mum’s in a right state.

Gin xx

No idea sister dearest, but get him to eat this and it should stop in about 10-15 minutes.

Fred x

I KNOW YOU TWO ARE HIDING FROM ME! I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO RONALD, BUT IF YOU DON’T SHOW YOUR FACES IN FIVE MINUTES I’M CONFISCATING YOUR BROOMS. MUM.

**9 th October 1995**

Granger’s on the war path. Something about testing on first years…

G

It was only a small piece of nosebleed nougat. That witch really is taking this prefect thing too seriously.

F.

She looks so cute when she’s angry though. Her nose scrunches up.

G

**13 th April 1996**

There’s a shop up for sale on Diagon Alley. Could be perfect.

G

**30 th May 1996**

You two really are geniuses! The swamp’s still there. The look on Filch’s face as he has to row us across it! Ha!

Ron

WHAT ON EARTH WERE THE TWO OF YOU THINKING?! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITHOUT NEWTS? WHAT YOU DID WAS COMPLETELY ILLEGAL AND BROKEN A DOZEN SCHOOL RULES. YOUR FATHER AND I ARE COMPLETELY ASHAMED! MUM

George,

I have never been so embarrassed or ashamed. I’ve always known you and Fred were what we’d call the ‘black sheep’ in the family, but I always had you down as the more sensible. The Minister is furious, and it has put me in an untenable position at work.

Percy.

Dear Mr Weasley,

Please find enclosed a sample of our latest Hungarian Horntail dung, guaranteed to make your dirigible plums grow.

Kind Regards

PIAP.org

PIAP.org?

F.

Percy. Is. A. Prat.

G

**19 th September 1996**

Hermione,

As you seemed to admire our products so much, Fred and I thought you might like to sample some of our latest Wonder Witch daydreams. Happy Birthday!

George x

Really? Giving away free merchandise to any witch who complements your magic now? And that’s not going to be the worst of it - I can almost hear Ron whining from here…

F.

**20 th November 1996**

Forge,

Do you two have anything in the shop I can use to scrub my eyeballs? I need to remove the image of ‘Won-Won’ and Lavender groping in the corridor…

Gin xx

Gin,

Wait- Ron has a girlfriend? What about Hermione?

George x

**December 1996**

Cormac McLaggen? She went to a party with McLaggen?!

G

Not jealous are we, Georgie? You’re sounding an awful lot like Won-Won…

F.

You think she was doing it to make him jealous?

G

**20 th February 1997**

Forge,

Lavender is driving me absolutely round the bend. Every time I turn around, she’s there and Hermione won’t even talk to me. What do I do?

Ron

Ron,

Love potion? Our Wonder Witch products could ease all your problems.

George

**1 st March 1997**

Who’d have thought Ronald would take you so literally…

F.

**30 th July 1997**

I need you two to be at Privet Drive at 19:00. Don’t be late.

Moody.

Still a charmer ain’t he?

F

George,

Are you okay? Mum told me what happened.

Charlie

Charlie,

George is fine. He’s just dragging it out for attention. See you at the wedding.

Fred.

You’re just jealous ‘cos Hermione hasn’t offered to wipe your brow.

G

**2 nd August 1997**

Bill,

Sorry the end of your day was so dramatic. How’s the rest of the family? Give mum a hug from us.

Forge

Forge,

Glad you’re ok. Everyone else is doing fine. Nobody has heard from our favourite threesome but we knew they were going. All we can do is wait now.

Stay safe.

Bill

**21 st December 1997**

Forge,

Thought the two of you might like to know, Ron has just shown up. He’s staying with me and Fleur over Christmas.

Bill.

Bill,

Why isn’t he with Harry and Hermione? What happened? Are they okay?

George

George,

Still trying to get the full story out of him, but apparently they were fine when he left. I’ll let you know when I know more. Stay safe.

Bill

Bill,

He left?!

George

**24 th December 1997**

Forge,

Ron left again. No idea where.

Bill

**12 th March 1998**

Forge,

Just had Harry and Ron show up with Hermione, and a bunch of others including a goblin and a dead house elf. It looks as though Hermione was tortured, but I think she’ll be okay. None of them are telling us what happened.

Bill

Bill,

I’ll be there in an hour.

George

George,

Stay put. Nothing you can do to help, and we’ve got enough people in the house already. Stay safe.

Bill

**27 th May 1998**

Your presence is needed at Hogwarts immediately. Aberforth.

**30 th June 1998**

Fred,

The healers at St Mungo’s have suggested I try writing to you as part of the grieving process. I’ve no idea where the owl will deliver it but…

I still can’t believe that you’re gone. Mum’s still in pieces and dad’s not much better. Charlie had to go back to Romania today, and Perce has gone back to London. Who’d have thought that it would take this to get him to admit he’s been a humungous pillock?

I’ve barely seen Ginny – I think she’s been staying out of the way as much as possible. Her and Harry seem to finally be making a go of things. I can’t believe it’s taken them so long. I think it will last though – he seems to make her happy.

Something appears to have happened between Hermione and Ron as well, but I’m not sure what. He’s been alternating between puppy dog eyes and snarling at her, but I saw them hugging the other day. I didn’t think it was possible, but it made me feel even lonelier.

I miss you, Fred. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.

George

**31 st July 1998**

Harry,

Happy Birthday mate. Hope you have a good time tonight. Sorry I can’t be there.

George

**1 st August 1998**

George,

Sorry I missed you at Harry’s birthday bash yesterday. Molly said you’re completely over-run at the shop getting ready for the back to school rush. If you need a hand, let me know. I’m just a loose end hanging around here.

Hermione xx

Hermione,

Great to hear from you. I have to admit, I’m not quite as busy as I may have made out to mum – I just couldn’t face the big, family celebration. I’d love to take you up on your offer though. Fancy popping by the shop tomorrow?

George x

George,

I had a feeling. See you at 08:00?

Hermione xx

Hermione,

8 will be perfect.

George x

**2 nd September 1998**

Fred,

I can’t believe it’s been more than four months since the battle. It’s gone by in a blur. I moved out of the Burrow and back to the flat a couple of months ago. I couldn’t cope with mum’s molly-coddling any more. I know it’s her way of coping, but it’s just too much.

I don’t know what to do about the shop. Hermione has been helping out for the past month, but she went back to Hogwarts yesterday. Harry and I waved her and Ginny off on platform 9 ¾. Ron didn’t even make an appearance. Hermione’s not spoken to me about it but I get the feeling he’s been messing her around all summer. He and Harry are off to start their auror training now September is here. Hermione got an offer as well, but she wanted to finish her NEWTs.

Maybe I can convince her to come and work in the shop when she’s done? I have to admit she’s got a natural flair, and I enjoy working with her. I don’t know how I could ever begin to replace you. We just worked together. Nobody can replace that. But when she’s around, it all feels a little bit more bearable.

I miss you, Fred.

George

**19 th September 1998**

George,

Thank you so much for the enchanted quills! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you’d perfected the Remembrall ink!

How are you?

Hermione xx

Hermione,

I’m glad you like them! I can’t take much of the credit for the ink. I found some of your notes, and tweaked them a little. You were almost there already.

I’m okay. The shop has thankfully got a little quieter since term started but I’m going to have to find someone to replace you before the Christmas rush starts.

How are you settling back in at Hogwarts?

George x

George,

I wish I could help. I have to admit, being back isn’t giving me the same sense of purpose I thought it would. There’s hardly any ‘eighth years’ as the rest of the school are calling us, and the school just doesn’t feel like home any more.

Plus, and make sure you are sitting down for this, I, Hermione Granger, am finding it difficult to concentrate in lessons.

I know, I know! But I just keep sitting in class thinking about how it could be applied to a Weasley product. I think I have Weasley-itis!

Hermione xx

Hermione,

Weasley-itis? I like the sound of that!

Seriously, if you need to talk, I’m here.

George x

**16 th October 1998**

George,

First Hogsmeade trip is coming up. Fancy a visit?

Hermione xx

Ron,

Are you going to Hogsmeade on Saturday?

George

George,

Why on Earth would I be going to Hogsmeade on Saturday? It’s full moon, there’s no way Lavender could go.

Ron

Gin,

What’s going on with Ron and Hermione? I just asked if he was going to Hogsmeade at the weekend and he said something about Lavender?!

George x

George,

Welcome back to the world big brother. We’ve missed you!

Ron and Hermione broke up before we came back to school. He’s been with Lavender for over a month now. Can’t say I was disappointed, he was really messing Hermione around. Mum is not taking the news well though – I think she was already picturing little Granger-Weasleys running round.

Why the interest?

Gin xx

Hermione,

I’ll see you in the Three Broomsticks at 12? Bring Ginny with you, she’ll only sulk otherwise.

George x

**21 st October 1998**

George,

Sorry I didn’t get to see you yesterday, Harry popped by as a surprise and took me for a picnic over by the Shrieking Shack. It sounds as though you and Hermione had a good time though. I’d no idea you’d gotten so close. Anything you’d like to share, brother dear?

Gin xx

Gin,

Sorry I didn’t get to see you too, but I’m glad to hear Harry is treating you right.

No idea what you’re talking about, but it’s nice to know Hermione had a good time.

George x

Hermione,

Great to see you yesterday. Have a think about my offer. You always were the brightest witch in school. If anyone can make it work, I think you can. In the meantime, I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.

George xx

**20 th December 1998**

Fred,

It’s coming up to Christmas and the shop is heaving. Fortunately, I’ve managed to find someone who almost matches you in devious concoctions. Who’d have thought Hermione Granger had such a strong Slytherin streak in her?

Ha! Thought that would surprise you. Before you jump to any conclusions, it’s a purely business relationship, no matter what dreams I might entertain to keep me warm at night. Turns out Hermione couldn’t settle back in at Hogwarts. I think being there, after all she saw in the battle, was just too hard. So, she’s taking her NEWTs via owl, and working in the shop with me. She’s staying at the Burrow. I’ve never seen mum so happy. Ron’s living with Harry at Grimmauld Place, so I think empty nest syndrome was kicking in hard. I almost feel sorry for Hermione though, all that maternal instinct focused on one person…

Ginny is doing well, missing Hermione, but I know she understands. Her and Harry are getting pretty serious, but she’s been offered a seeker’s position with the Harpies for when she leaves school so I don’t think there’ll be any wedding bells soon, in spite of all mum’s hints. Fortunately, Fleur and Bill are keeping her occupied with impending grandkids.

Ron is still being a prat. He’s not particularly happy about Hermione living at home. I just hope for Merlin’s sake, that he’s not whining as much to ‘Lav-Lav’ as he is to me. I don’t think I could stomach him going through another break up.

Charlie is doing well, he’s gonna be back over Christmas, and Percy has a girlfriend now! If he weren’t such a stickler for the rules, I’d assume he’d used amortentia at the very least.

We all miss you, Fred. Merry Christmas.

George x

**25 th December 1998**

George,

What did you do to Ron? He’s just run into my room demanding to speak to Harry, looking as though he’s had a dose of Pepperup potion. Steam was practically issuing from his ears!

Gin xx

Gin,

Nothing, I swear! I’d just given Hermione her Christmas present and she was giving me a hug to say thanks when Ron walked in. It’s not my fault he put 2 and 2 together and came up with 54!

George x

P.S Did you get a photo?

GEORGE WEASLEY, YOU GO AND APOLOGISE TO YOUR BROTHER THIS MINUTE! RON IS VERY UPSET AND I WILL NOT HAVE CHRISTMAS DAY RUINED BECAUSE OF YOUR PRANKS. MUM

Gin,

Have you seen Hermione? I can’t find her anywhere.

George x

George,

She’s in my room with me, hiding from the wrath of ‘Lav-Lav’. I’d worry more about you – Won-Won went crying to mum about it.

Gin xx

Gin,

I know, I already got the howler. Is Hermione okay?

George x

George,

I’m fine. Just thought it would be better if I lay low for a bit. Apparently, Lavender is not taking Ron’s reaction to us ‘snogging’ under the mistletoe well.

Hermione xx

Ronald,

You’re being pathetic. Hermione was just hugging me to say thank you. Now she’s in hiding from Lavender who’s on the war path cos you’re being a massive pillock and mum’s yelling at me for hurting ‘Won-Won’s’ feelings. Grow up and come downstairs so we can all have pudding.

George

George,

With all the excitement earlier, I never got to give you your Christmas present. Merry Christmas.

Hermione xx

Hermione,

Quidditch world cup tickets? Are you kidding me?!

George xx

**15 th February 1999**

George,

You’re a pillock.

Gin xx

Gin,

I love you too.

George x

George,

Do you even know what day it was yesterday?

Gin xx

Gin,

Tuesday?

George x

George,

Yesterday was the 14th of February. Valentine’s day. The day when lovers are expected to make romantic gestures.

Gin xx

I feel like you’re trying to make a point here, Gin, but I’m not getting it. I don’t even have a girlfriend!

George x

Gin?

George x

**1 st April 1999**

Happy Birthday Georgie! Looking forward to seeing you later.

Love,

Mum and Dad xxx

Happy Birthday mate. Ginny says she’ll be able to make it back to the Burrow, so we’ll see you tonight.

Harry

Happy Birthday, George! I’ve left you something in the back room.

Hermione xx

Hermione,

I cannot believe you finally got the exploding icing to work! I’ll be cleaning the stuff out of my ear for weeks!

George xx

George,

April fools! Glad you enjoyed the icing. Your proper present is upstairs.

Hermione xx

Hermione,

This is amazing! Where did you find it?

George xx

George,

I stumbled across it in that shop we found in muggle London and thought you’d like it. I’d best get back to work. Looking forward to seeing you later.

Hermione xx

Fred,

April Fool’s Day today, which makes us 21. Or rather it makes me 21 and you’ll still be 20 and somehow that thought has made me feel sadder than I have done in a long time.

We all went to visit your grave before the celebrations began. As though you were there, in the Earth. But you’re not, you’re somewhere else now where I can’t go, not yet.

Afterwards, we went back to the Burrow. Everyone was there, even Ron. He still hasn’t apologised for Christmas, but at least he’s being normal around me and Hermione now and somehow he managed to convince Lavender to stick with him. Not sure I would’ve done, the prat.

Hermione’s been amazing all day. I couldn’t come up with any pranks myself this year, but Hermione stepped in to fill our shoes. I think I must be a bad influence on her! She finally got the exploding icing to work, so she left me a cake in the back room. I didn’t expect to laugh much today, not without you, but I haven’t laughed so much in ages. Especially when she convinced Ron to try a piece of the new metamorphmagus toffee we’ve been developing. His nose kept changing throughout dinner and he never even noticed! I’m sure once we’ve managed to work out the antidote it’ll be right as rain though…

I miss you, Fred. Happy Birthday!

George x

**15 th June 1999**

Gin,

Is everything okay with Hermione? She’s been really quiet the past few weeks.

George x

George,

Have you tried asking her?

Gin xx

Gin,

Of course I’ve tried asking her! She just clammed up and said it was nothing.

George x

George,

Well she has had a lot on her mind, with the anniversary and NEWTs and everything, but I think she might also have someone on her mind, if you get my drift.

Gin xx

**26 th June 1999**

George,

Can’t thank you enough for arranging last night, mate. Had a great time. Who knew Granger was such good company? Couldn’t help thinking she’d rather be out with someone else though.

Lee

George,

You’re my brother, and I love you. And because I love you, I need to tell you that you are also the world’s biggest prat. When I told you that I thought Hermione was hung up on someone, I did not expect you to set her up with Lee Jordan!

Gin xx

Gin,

What’s wrong with Lee?

George x

George,

The problem with Lee is that he’s not the person Hermione is hung up on.

Gin xx

Gin,

We both know who Hermione is hung up on, but Ron is with Lavender and it would never work.

George x

George,

Ginny just threw her quill at the wall, so I’m taking over before she sends you a jinx via owl. Hermione is not hung up on Ron.

Harry

Lee,

What are you talking about?

George

George,

She didn’t stop talking about you all night, mate.

Lee

Hermione,

Fancy going out for dinner with me tonight?

George xx

**27 th June 1999**

George,

Have you seen Hermione? She didn’t come home last night and mum’s frantic!

Gin xx

Gin,

Hermione’s fine, she’s with me. She stayed at the flat last night. She’s heading home now.

George x

George,

Wait – Are you saying what I think you’re saying?!

Gin xx

George?!

Gin xx

Hermione,

Just wanted to say thank you again for last night. I had a great time. Hope I didn’t get you into too much trouble.

George xx

George,

Please reply to Ginny. I’m worried she may have an aneurism.

Harry

Gin,

Yes.

George x

Yes?! Yes! You just told me you hooked up with my best friend and all you can say is, yes?!

Gin xx

George,

Are you kidding me? That reply was meant to calm her down!

Harry

George,

I had a great time too, and Molly was fine when I explained. Over the moon actually…

Hermione xx

Hermione,

Pleased to hear it. Fancy coming around tonight?

George xx

**31 st July 1999**

Harry,

I’m sorry about last night, mate. I can’t believe Ron is still being such a prat. I hope Gin left some of his hide for me to hex once she was through with him.

Anyway, Happy Birthday buddy.

George

Ronald,

I’m sorry you’re struggling to come to terms with this, but I really don’t think that dating a girl you briefly dated a year ago counts as a ‘complete betrayal’. If you ever call Hermione what you called her last night again, I will hex you to Timbuktu.

George

**1 st August 1999**

George,

Just got back from meeting Ginny. She’s still fuming! Hope the session with the MoM went okay. Can’t wait to see you later.

Love,

Hermione xx

Hermione,

Meeting went fine, and I even found time to pick you up a little present. Can’t wait to see you in it.

Love,

George xx

**19 th September 1999**

Hermione,

Happy Birthday love. Verity will be minding the shop today, so come downstairs when you’re ready. I have a surprise for you.

George xx

**20 th September 1999**

Can I just say once again that I am the luckiest witch, with the most amazing boyfriend. I love you, Mr Weasley xx

Only if you’ll allow that I have the most amazing girlfriend. I love you too, Miss Granger xx

**1 st April 2000**

Fred,

Our birthday has rolled around again. A lot has happened in a year.

Ginny is now seeker for the Holyhead Harpies. She’s away a lot, but her and Harry seem to be coping fine. Percy (I kid you not) is married, and Charlie has found himself a lovely dragon breeder who appears to have the same dubious survival instincts he does. Bill and Fleur are expecting again, and Ron and Lavender are due to be married in July.

Hermione has moved into the flat. She was spending so much time here anyway, it just seemed to make sense. Mum was sad to see her go, but she comes to dinner at the Burrow with me every Sunday so it’s not like she never sees her.

The shop is thriving. Hermione has a real flair for mischief, but the experience she picked up in the war is invaluable in our defence range. We’re now the chief provider for all MoM armour and we’re going to need to take on more staff. I offered to change the name when she bought her partnership, but she said that wouldn’t be right. So, naturally, I decided that I’ll just have to change her name instead. I’m asking her tonight, so wish me luck!

I miss you, Fred. Happy Birthday!

George x

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
